Memories that Never Existed
by multiplicities
Summary: Shoichi is now a respected member of the Vongola, thank-you-very-much. He's happy, working in a place where his talents are recognized and he has friends. Only why does that man with the white hair make him feel so strange? He doesn't even know him. 10051
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is not mine.

* * *

Shoichi, his sister and mother sighed, was a good boy. It did not sound precisely like a compliment.

However, they always went on to say, it would be nice if only he'd take a little more interest in interacting with other children. If only he'd participate in sports or even his school's computer club…

If Shoichi himself was in the vicinity, he'd usually look embarrassed and quickly scurry away to his room so he could tinker some more with his computer. At least he wouldn't have to listen up there.

As it so happened, Shoichi did not have to join a club or play sports to get noticed. He was the one who was approached, completed out of the blue, by certain figures that he recognized. The traumatizing incident rose rapidly to the front of his brain, but he could never forget those people. The baby currently wielding a lime-colored gun with expertise had made an especially deep impression on him, never mind the grenades tossed in random directions.

Shoichi wanted to run. Very, very badly.

Sadly, before he could do more than scream shrilly and take a few stumbling steps – he _really_ should have put more effort into gym – the weak-looking boy was sent flying towards him and successfully stopped Shoichi from getting any further.

"Hiiieee!" he distinctly heard the nondescript boy wail. What had _he_ to wail about?

"It's not polite to take a look at someone and run screaming, Shoichi-kun," the gun-wielding baby admonished, suddenly appearing on right in front of him.

Needless to say, Shoichi declined to listen and screamed harder, trying frantically to escape. The boy on top of him mumbled a soft sorry and got off. Shoichi stared. That had been far too easy. Then some guy – was he _smoking_? That had to be incredibly bad for his health! – got into his face.

"How dare you bump into the tenth!" the scary guy exclaimed passionately, sending a look of absolute adoration towards the rather mousy guy who had flew into Shoichi and then looking back at Shoichi with a hostile stare.

The silver hair and the way the cigarette was clutched between his teeth - Shoichi was surprised he didn't drop it - made the guy, who couldn't be more than fifteen, look like some gangster. The way he was looking at the other boy made him look like a puppy wagging its tail for a beloved master. Shoichi didn't feel as though the two images _quite_ fit together.

Shoichi blinked up at him from the ground, paralyzed. Another guy – wasn't he that popular baseball player, Yamamoto Takeshi? – smiled at him calmly and extended a hand to help him up. Shoichi took his hand numbly.

"Don't worry; Gokudera's just playing this game of ours. Those toy dynamites of his look real, don't they? Ah, toys today are really advanced," Yamamoto explained, patting him on the shoulder for good measure. Shoichi was _not_ reassured. In fact, he was sure that he'd heard something about this boy being involved in a suicide attempt. Looking at those sparkly teeth, it was difficult to believe that as well. Still, the force of Yamamoto's pat nearly knocked him back onto the ground.

"Haha, sorry about that," Yamamoto apologized cheerfully, rubbing the back of his head. Behind him, Gokudera glowered, holding up a stick of dynamite and crushing it ominously with his bare hand. Shoichi gulped. The only other sane person there was alternating between terror-filled apologies and...well, terror-stricken looks at Gokudera and the baby. No help there, obviously.

"It's very simple, Shoichi-kun," the baby told him. "You are going to join the Vongola, Tsuna's mafia family."

The tiny baby ignored Tsuna's – at least, Shoichi assumed that the mousy-looking guy was Tsuna – protest, saying something resembling "you can't just tell someone that and expect him to do it!"

Shoichi wanted to run away now, even more.

The gun pointed to his head didn't help at all - but surely something that looked like a toy gun couldn't fire real bullets?

He decided to obey his instinct and ran like hell.

* * *

Naturally, it wasn't that simple. Reborn had let him run, but where could he hide? His house? He'd come home to see his relatives drinking tea with Reborn, who was masquerading as some martial arts teacher called Master Pao-Pao. (Not to mention the fact that he had gotten there so _fast_.) And then, "Master Pao-Pao" had announced that he saw the seeds of great ability within Shoichi. His mother and sister - those traitors - had agreed to letting him become a disciple with smiles on their faces.

He distinctly recalled being dragged off screaming while his mother waved to him with a brilliant smile on her face. It was not _fair_.

After a series of tests that Reborn – Shoichi knew the name of the really, really dangerous baby now – had put him through, Shoichi got in as a member of Tsuna's family. Well, the gun still pointed in his direction had helped a great deal in increasing Shoichi's motivation.

In short, he had become a _bona fide_ Mafioso.

The whole thing still terrified Shoichi when he thought of it.

Now, after quite some time spent with Tsuna and his family, Shoichi had realized something. Several things, in fact, that the younger version of him had never noticed when Tsuna first recruited him.

First, Gokudera disliked Shoichi immensely. As a matter of fact, Gokudera's hostility towards Shoichi was greater than the hostility that he directed as a matter of course to everyone besides Tsuna, Reborn, and his sister. However, the only reason that he directed no hostility to Bianchi-san, Shoichi couldn't help but notice, was that he would be overcome by a need to regurgitate upon the sight of her face. Despite Gokudera's nature, it seemed that he directed more than Shoichi's fair share of dynamites towards him and he would never, never allow Tsuna to be alone with Shoichi. It wasn't just dislike, Shoichi had slowly realized, Gokudera didn't trust him.

Another thing was the way that Tsuna treated him. Most of the other members that Shoichi knew treated him with either contempt or indifference – what did they know about him that he didn't? – but Tsuna actually went out of his way to make sure that Shoichi was all right. Or he might be reading too much into it, and this was simply Tsuna's reaction to seeing someone else around him who had experienced bullying before. However, Shoichi didn't think he was wrong. Tsuna did pay more attention to him than he did to most of the other non-Guardians of his family. The only thing Shoichi did not understand was: why?

Speaking of which, even the girls would treat him just a shade more coldly than they did the others. Sasagawa Kyoko-san was an exception though; she smiled her princess smile at him the way she did towards everyone else. Haru-chan had tried to brain him with Yamamoto's baseball bat the first time they met and warned him seriously that Tsuna was hers; he was not allowed to harm Tsuna in any way. Really, why would he want to harm _Tsuna_, of all people?

Also, Shoichi was given state-of-the-art equipment to work with but a great deal of supervision. Besides, why would they pick him in the first place? Though really, they had to be insane in the first place to want Sasagawa Ryohei in their family. Or Hibari-san, for that matter.

Oh, well, it's not as though Shoichi could do anything about it in the first place. He shrugged and turned back to his engineering research.

* * *

An odd... creature named Giovanni had been one of the first people within Tsuna's family that he got along with.

Giovanni had just come in, riding some machine that could dig holes or fly at Giovanni's command. Shoichi still did not entirely understand the mechanics of it - he worked with computers, not machines - but it had been, for lack of a better word, awesome.

Then he'd realized that Giovanni was every bit as weird as every other person there. Except for him, of course. Shoichi was not weird. Really.

Giovanni had ended up performing some modifications to Shoichi's equipment before he decided that he actually did not need pink-haired feminine robots performing his commands instead of real computers. He had to deal with them for a while before Xanxus had stormed in with one of his rages and shot at Shoichi's robots point-blank.

Well, as long as Shoichi didn't have to clean up, he didn't really mind.

Then Shoichi met Spanner. Spanner offered him a lollipop. He accepted.

This became the basis of their relationship, actually. Not that Shoichi liked sweet things in particular. However, Spanner was very nice and it would have been rude to refuse.

The people that he was in close contact with became his friends, and they were just as nerdy and intelligent as he was. It was the perfect working environment for Shoichi, random explosions notwithstanding.

He was really quite content with his life.

* * *

Shoichi didn't really mind torture theoretically, but he had never been required to see it performed in person. This was odd.

He snuck a sideways look at his boss, who was staring ahead fixedly and looking rather pale. Shoichi could sympathize with Tsuna, who he had always thought was too delicate to be in the mafia at all. It had been rather surprising when he learned that Tsuna insisted upon being present at all interrogation sessions. Personally, Shoichi thought it was futile for Tsuna to force himself through it out of some sense of misplaced guilt.

Hibari-san dragged in the prisoner, whose crimes Shoichi was still unaware of, and Mukuro-san glided in front of him with a nasty, vicious grin on his face.

The illusionist pulled up the man's head by grabbing his hair, and Shoichi could feel his heart stop.

The man was very attractive, with spiky white hair and pale purple eyes. He also had a strange tattoo under his eye, which made Shoichi think of clowns for some reason.

Shoichi didn't understand why, but seeing this man's face _hurt_. He felt as though he wanted to kneel in front of the prisoner – how ridiculous – and to wrap his hands around the person's neck at the same time. However, he couldn't think of any reason why he would have such contrasting feelings towards some person he had never seen before.

He became aware of Tsuna's gaze on him. The look on his boss' face was almost suspicious…

Then the man – Byakuran, apparently – gazed at the grim faces around him, paused at Tsuna's determined look, and his eyes met Shoichi's.

He smiled. In that situation, captured by people who were obviously unfriendly to him, Byakuran _smiled_.

He kept on smiling even as Mukuro subjected him through the worst his mind could dream up, as well as Hibari's physical attacks.

Even as Hibari methodically broke Byakuran's fingers one by one, he smiled. Shoichi could tell, somehow, that everyone else was feeling uneasy around him. It was odd, but the contrast between the confident prisoner and the people who supposedly held power over him made Shoichi feel frightened, in a way.

Without getting anything out of him, Tsuna decided that the interrogation and torture session was over for the day.

As he exited the room, Shoichi looked back. Through the entire time, Byakuran had never looked away from him. Those eyes, that hair, the tattoo - why did Byakuran feel so _familiar_?

It didn't matter, though. Byakuran was just another enemy of Shoichi's family – wasn't he?


	2. Chapter 2

"Wahahahaha! Lambo-san is here!"

The words did not really match the tone. The really, really young Bovino assassin bounced into the workstation shared by Shoichi, Spanner, and occasionally others. He made a beeline for Spanner, who shoved a lollipop into Lambo's open mouth without even looking up from his desk.

Spanner might have made a great mother, Shoichi always thought. Just the right amount of justified neglect and efficient care.

"Lambo-san is playing hide-and-seek," the precocious baby – baby? – explained as he ducked under Shoichi's legs and pressed himself up against the inner part of the desk. Shoichi and Spanner were already somewhat used to these kinds of interruptions, and there was only a slight lull before they went back to work. Absentmindedly, Shoichi patted Lambo on the head. He really was quite fond of Lambo.

Then someone blasted the door open.

"Come out, herbivore," the Vongola cloud guardian's monotone rang out.

Shoichi froze. Lambo had been playing hide-and-seek with Hibari-san? How stupid could even _he_ get? If he played, then there would definitely be beef for dinner. Hibari-san scanned the room, and his eyes locked onto Shoichi. He started to advance.

Shoichi immediately hauled Lambo out by his hair and threw him – not at Hibari-san because that might be taken as a sign of aggression, but near Hibari. It was a miracle, really, that Shoichi's sense of self-preservation was as strong as ever even in the face of daily threats to his health.

Before Hibari could do anything to Lambo, there was a pounding of feet outside of the room and Tsuna arrived, breathless. Gokudera, faithful as always, nearly crashed into his boss as he followed into the room.

"Wait, Hibari-san! Don't-"

"You stupid cow, how could you lose something that the Tenth gave you!" Gokudera yelled, brandishing his dynamite presumably more for effect than the intention of actually using them. At least, Shoichi hoped that it was for effect. The cozy workroom was becoming more and more crowded by the second.

"You lost the ring," Hibari said, stepping forward predatorily with that wide grin pulling at his lips. "I will bite you. To. Death."

"W-wait, you two. Let's listen to Lambo's explanation first," Tsuna pleaded, with no visible impression on either of his Guardians.

As far as he knew, there was only one ring that would get everyone worked up like this: one of the Vongola rings. Lambo had the thunder ring as proof of his status as one of the Tenth's Guardians – not that Shoichi had any idea why a kid who still wet his bed and used nightlights deserved such high status.

Shoichi himself possessed a ring with the sun attribute, but it was for show because he had never been able to produce flames with it. Reborn had told him that Shoichi's inability to use flames wasn't because he lacked determination, but because he did not have anything he could put all his faith and effort into, at least at the moment.

Lambo, despite his apparent childishness, had managed to activate his flames. Shoichi almost envied him. Then he looked at Lambo, who was currently clinging to Tsuna and had gotten a lollipop stuck in his afro, and thought better of the emotion.

"-and so, Lambo-san went to sleep and then he woke up and beat Stupidera up! When Lambo-san reached up to throw something, he found out that his ring was gone!"

Shoichi blinked. Apparently Lambo had gone into a long, rambling explanation on how his ring had gotten lost. It was odd, though, that with his penchant for tossing things carelessly out of his afro, that he had never lost it before. Or had he?

Meanwhile, Tsuna was looking more and more worried. Hibari-san had now turned to Gokudera for an explanation, with Gokudera being defiantly if idiotically insulting to him back. The most likely explanation was that Lambo had lost it somewhere in the base and it would be found within a few days. A ring like that wasn't likely to be overlooked for long.

"Lollipop?" Spanner offered a caramel apple flavored one to Shoichi.

For some reason, Shoichi's stomach was starting to ache a little.

* * *

With diversions like these, Shoichi rarely got to work on the newest project that he and Spanner had devised. He had forgotten about anything that he didn't regularly see.

They had noticed that there was often damage from Tsuna's family training enthusiastically within the base. The first time the bills for repair had come in, Tsuna had fainted straightaway while Shoichi had picked it up and felt himself blanch. He had been very glad that he wouldn't need to shoulder the cost for the repairs. However, Shoichi had noted that Hibari-san and Mukuro-san, who had been the ones responsible for the damage in the first place, did not look at all repentant. It hadn't been surprising.

From then on, Tsuna had attempted to get everyone to do any fighting or training outside but that wasn't really feasible, given the notice explosions and bangs might draw from the public. At his wits' end, Tsuna had even asked Reborn to forcibly keep the fighting down to a minimum, but Reborn rarely acquiesced.

Finally, Spanner and Shoichi had collaborated in drawing up preliminary blueprints for a training/sparring center. Naturally, the walls were extremely thick and sturdy. The basic plan was very simple, but they were planning to add something more to their design just to make things more interesting for anyone inside.

Given Shoichi's wholehearted devotion to the task, the dozens of little computer problems people brought to him, and the antics from living with a bunch of powerful, fight-loving morons, the matter of Lambo's lost ring seemed unimportant. Everything else was also pushed back to the back of his mind.

Only, the next day Tsuna discovered that one of the Sky Mare rings – also of the thunder attribute – had disappeared.

Shoichi had no idea why Tsuna had even bothered to check the highly guarded treasury that contained the Sky Mare rings – he wasn't aware of any connection between them and the Vongola rings. However, Tsuna had used his rarely utilized authority to get access and then discovered that one ring was missing. The security, apparently, hadn't noticed anything. Shoichi made a note to update security soon; Spanner could probably contribute a few more Moscas.

At the discovery that another ring had been taken, the atmosphere around the Vongola Decimo's base was one of general unease. Shoichi had been having trouble with sleeping and even Yamamoto's smiling looked more fixed these days.

Shoichi was really getting worried.

It was during this time that Tsuna asked Shoichi to perform a somewhat risky task for him. Even before he made the details known, Shoichi accepted. He – and his stomach – couldn't take much more of the base.

Tsuna had asked him to accompany Yamamoto and Ryohei to escort Byakuran to a more secure prison. It appeared as though Tsuna was worried about the effect Byakuran had on those within a close proximity.

Shoichi had actually strained to remember who Byakuran was, but then he had remembered that smile. Those eyes. And he wondered how he could have forgotten the man at all.

Upon seeing Byakuran again, Shoichi was struck by the way imprisonment suited the man. Byakuran looked more gaunt, though a thin frame definitely looked natural for him. The way his skin had become paler didn't hurt the man's looks either. Most of all, Byakuran's purple eyes were somehow brighter than Shoichi remembered. He was chained, but Tsuna had assured Shoichi that Byakuran probably wouldn't get violent.

Shoichi had pointed out that either Hibari-san or Mukuro might make better guards. Tsuna had stated, with a visible shudder, that he was quite sure that they would not.

* * *

Shoichi had been designated as driver, apparently in the absence of anyone else not needed for guarding the prisoner or someone sane. Ryohei, as anyone who had rode along with him as the driver could attest, was not quite sane. No one who moved around in the driver's seat the way he did and still managed to keep the car from irreversible damage could possibly be normal. Yamamoto had settled next to Byakuran with his sword held in front of his chest and an easygoing smile on his lips. Byakuran looked amused, but he stayed silent, just as he had said nothing since joining them.

Ryohei, sitting next to Shoichi, was currently singing – or screaming tunelessly, either one works – some song about driving. He couldn't tell from the noise or the tune, but Shoichi prayed fervently that he wasn't _really_ singing _The Wheels on the Bus_ in badly mangled Italian. Yamamoto joined in every so often with a comment, laughing, but there was still tension in the car. As relaxed and foolish as the two guardians looked, Shoichi had a feeling that both of them were paying full attention to the threat that Byakuran posed.

It was far more unsettling than open hostility, this mask of good-natured cheer. Still, Shoichi was pretty sure that it was for his benefit, to keep him from being spooked.

He drove on, following the road that Reborn had marked out for him.

When they had about a quarter of the road left before reaching their destination, the air temperature started dropping sharply. Shoichi wished that he had had the foresight to bring a sweater.

Farther on and they started to see snow, piling up in drifts. This place had an unusually early winter.

Then the car spluttered and stopped. Shoichi checked the gas, cursing softly under his breath when he saw what he already knew. He had been so preoccupied with his thoughts that they'd ran out of gas, and the nearest gas station had been several miles behind them.

"It's all right, Shoichi-kun," Yamamoto said, smiling comfortingly at him. "I'll go out to get some gas. It won't take too long."

Shoichi agreed, ears burning. He wanted to get it himself, but he was aware that Yamamoto was far hardier and would probably take several hours less than Shoichi would to fetch some gas. His only option was to wait with Ryohei and Byakuran. So they waited.

First, it was an hour. The hour became two hours, then close to three hours. Shoichi was really getting anxious by that time. Yamamoto should not have taken so long, unless…

"Sorry, Shoichi-kun, but I need to find Yamamoto," Ryohei spoke up. "Don't worry; we'll be back in _no_ time!"

"Okay," Shoichi agreed, because really, what else could he do?

"Just take out your gun and wait for us, Shoichi-kun!" Ryohei waved to him before bounding out of the car.

Shoichi's hand slid down to touch the gun that Reborn had insisted that he learn to use and carry. He had never fired it at a person before. He didn't really want to look at Byakuran.

When Ryohei was completely out of sight, Shoichi suddenly realized that he was trapped alone with someone who could very well be dangerous. He started to shiver and not just due to the chill.

"Something wrong?" Byakuran asked behind him. Shoichi jumped. He'd never heard the man's voice before. It was surprisingly gentle. _Dangerously_ gentle…

He shook his head no then returned to peering outside for signs of either Yamamoto or Ryohei. He couldn't go out to freeze and he didn't feel safe inside. Shoichi stared outside, hoping for someone to come.

Then a warm, elegantly shaped hand grabbed his arm and pulled Shoichi so that he was resting half on Byakuran's chest. There was a loud clinking of chains.

"What are you _doing_?" Shoichi croaked, hand fumbling for his gun. Byakuran's arms settled over his back, the man's body so _warm_. There were many people among the mafia who would be able to break Shoichi in half without even a weapon. Shoichi wondered if Byakuran was among those people.

"You're cold, Shoichi-kun~" was all that Byakuran replied, chin angled on top of his head. Shoichi had gotten hold of his gun, but the angle that Byakuran was holding him at made it extremely awkward for him to do anything about it.

Shoichi had never told Byakuran his name or been introduced to him.

Had he?


End file.
